Pınar asked about the situation I told her:
“What did you experience like this when you were your daughter’s age?”
If it is time, the answers come so fast… I remembered immediately. There was a teacher. My friend went for me and asked the teacher “can she also perform in this play?” for me, and the answer was harsh enough to hurt a 13-year-old girl. My heart was broken, and how! When I could tell my mother weeks later, she was sure that the answer came from my friend’s imagination, not from the teacher. We will never know it, but my heart was broken already… I was very shy, I was very angry, and I did not even speak once to that teacher until I graduated. As I thought about it in the following days, I realized that that day in the past, even those few seconds, infiltrated so many incidents in my life. I tried to untie all the connections like untying a knot.
Of course!
My issues with authority figure women; still at this age, my distance to female teachers… And many more….
Of course!
I thought about it for days. I remembered; I relaxed as I remembered.
Exactly one week later, on a Sunday evening, I suddenly opened Facebook, found the protagonist of my story, and sent a message to her. I explained everything.
I finished my message as follows: “If I have a burden on you by writing this story, I want to clean it because I had very negative feelings for you for a long time”.
I waited for two days for an answer. Then I went into a daily rush. When I opened Facebook in the morning of the fourth day, I saw in the sharing of my co-friends:
My teacher passed away at a young age. It turns out that she had been sick for a long time.
I have never spoken to her personally in my life. She couldn’t read my message.
But actually, we talked… We said our goodbyes… We took leave…
This is such a state of peace and love that one wants to cry sobbingly.
After that, the issues that had been moved from the past to the present started to be solved one by one.
Let alone our friends and relatives, we get our hooks even on people whom we have not formed a single sentence.
In short, become the hunter of your negative emotions.
The exit is there…
This is the introduction of the 24th issue of Pozitif Magazine. February 2018
what do you think?