I was walking as if there was a rock in the middle of my chest. We always say “be yourself”, you know. After a step I took to be myself, I was experiencing a flood of emotions. Did I make a mistake, did I say something wrong, shouldn’t have I spoken? This time I was feeling guilty for not entering a wheel that I no longer wanted to be in! How would you like that! They do not say in vain that raising one’s awareness is not always a joyful process. I was the proof of that…
Fortunately, I was walking with a very valuable key in my pocket. I believed that help from life would come whenever I wanted to get rid of this feeling. In about a fifteen-minute walk, I prayed, affirmed, talked, talked, and asked for an answer. I was very sincere what I said and I was quite sure that the answer to the question “why did I experience this?” would be given … A helping hand would reach me before I got home.
I was just near the corner of the street and a friend whom I had not seen for a long time appeared. We started a quick conversation. She was quite distressed, very angry, and unable to forgive. Very angry at whom? After I passed the exam, the person about whom I thought ‘did I made a mistake?’… At that point, there was traffic congestion, a truck locked the traffic, and the drivers shouted. For a moment, I almost rose from my body and looked at the picture from a bird’s eye and understood it. I had done the right thing. If I had not been myself and consented to what was imposed upon me, I would soon be one of those who had trouble in this congestion. My friend’s unhealed feelings reminded me of what I didn’t want and healed me. I did not advise her; she wanted to stay a little longer in those emotions. I just listened.
We separated at the end of half an hour. But I had already left the rock in my chest to the sidewalk. I had said “no” to a situation that I did not want to be, and I did not have to feel guilty about it. I was feeling strong!
A few weeks later we were talking to girls in another chat about what “success” was. “I think”, I said, “success is being able to be in touch with life at any time, asking questions to it and being open to answers from it at any time. The rest will happen anyway”.
This is the introduction of the 25th issue of Pozitif Magazine. May 2018
what do you think?